P-P-P-Chan! He's Good For Nothin'

'''P-P-P-Chan! He's Good For Nothin' '(Pi-pi-P-chan Roku Namonjanē ピーピーPちゃん ろくなもんじゃねェ) ''is the 10th episode in the first season Digital Dojo of Ranma ½.

Ranma finally discovers that Ryoga followed him to Jusenkyo, where Ranma unknowingly knocked him into the Spring of Drowned Piglet - and this is why Ryoga holds such a grudge against Ranma. This in and of itself wouldn't be so bad, but then Akane adopts Ryoga's cursed form as her pet, and refuses to let Ranma try and explain that the "dumb animal" she's showering with affection is actually his enemy!

Relation to the Previous Episode
This episode continues on directly from the ending of the previous one and is the conclusion of the Ryoga's Introduction arc.

Plot Summary
Ranma and Ryoga, both naked and female/male respectively, stare at each other in silence in the bathroom, the silence only broken when Akane drops by the door and, without looking in, calls instructions for Ranma to make sure he washes her newfound pet all over. As Ranma cautiously asks if Ryoga really is the piglet, Ryoga lashes out in anger, though Ranma manages to persuade him to momentarily calm down and explain what happened.



Ryoga explains angrily that he followed Ranma to China, his distorted sense of direction leading him everywhere from random mountaintops to the Gobi Desert to Beijing, before he finally found himself on a cliff's edge overlooking a valley dotted with small springs and ponds -- unbeknownst to him, he had reached Jusenkyo. At that moment, a gargantuan panda came barreling out of the undergrowth straight at him, and Ryoga leapt into the air to try and avoid it... only to discover that a furious girl in a gi was bounding along behind the panda, screaming at it to stop running. Evidently blind in her rage, the girl knocked him out of the air in her efforts to catch the panda, sending Ryoga slamming back onto the cliff's edge. Ryoga might have made it out of that incident unscathed nevertheless, if the cliff face hadn't given way under his hand, causing him to lose his balance and go plunging into a spring below, where he found himself transformed into a black miniature pig. For an unknown time he floundered in the spring, before the panda from before rescued him... and then carried him to the Guide's house, where the Guide declared he would turn Ryoga into Cantonese sweet 'n' sour pork. Ryoga was helpless to do anything but struggle and squeal as the Guide made ready to cook him, casually mentioning the existence of a spring called "Eiton'niichuan" that turns its victims into pigs, only to then laugh off the possibility of Ryoga having come from there. Nevertheless, he seemed to have been suspicious, as he chose to plunge Ryoga alive into boiling water first, which turned Ryoga back into a human.

Ryoga lividly finishes by declaring his curse to be all Ranma's fault, which outrages the other teen and prompts her to point out that it was a strange girl who knocked Ryoga into the spring and a panda that tried to eat him. Her arguments that Ryoga shouldn't blame her for what he had to endure when he went to Jusenkyo of his own volition and somebody else knocked him in trail off when she realises that Ryoga genuinely had been knocked in by her, shortly after receiving her Jusenkyo curse, and that Genma in panda form was the one who tried to eat Ryoga. As she tries to figure out a way to explain this to Ryoga in a reasonable way, Genma, in panda form, chooses that moment to come in for a bath of his own. Seeing it occupied, he excuses himself and leaves, but Ryoga realises the meaning of this.



In a blind rage he attacks Ranma, who just manages to get to the shower and turn on the cold water, reducing Ryoga to his much less dangerous cursed form. She shakily promises that they can talk things over once Ryoga has cooled down, but Ryoga is blind to reason and attacks Ranma in utter rage, the sounds of their battle carrying to a greatly startled Akane in the living room. Ryoga's initial fury is of little avail; he is far too small and poorly armed to inflict any serious harm, and he quickly ends up fleeing to the living room and Akane's protection as the now-livid Ranma chases him, ignoring Akane's shocked anger and berating Ryoga for trying to hide behind Akane, literally and figuratively. Ryoga, incensed, attacks Ranma again and gets his head mashed into the floor after several lucky strikes, which prompts Akane to lunge forward and roughly seize Ranma's left breast, the pain causing the boy-turned-girl to stop fighting.

Akane comforts what she believes is an ordinary pig that Ranma happens to be bullying and declares her intention to take it to bed with her. Ranma emotionally tries to explain that the pig is really Ryoga, but Akane is in no mood to listen and instead playfully kisses her newfound pet on the nose. This leaves Ranma shocked and enraged, and Ryoga starstruck, Ranma storming off with a defensive snap in Akane's direction, much to the youngest Tendo's confusion.

Tucked away safely in her bed, Ryoga adoringly content in her arms, Akane wonders over Ranma's almost jealousy-like reaction and then convinces herself that Ranma couldn't possibly be jealous. After she has drifted off to sleep, Ranma in male form scurries along the exterior wall of the house like a human spider, a kettle of hot water in one hand. Slinking in through the window, he uses it to intimidate Ryoga into keeping silent, then gently tries to slip the boy-turned-pig from Akane's grasp. When she instinctively snatches him back, he then tries to snatch Ryoga from her hands -- and is successful, though Ryoga immediately sinks his fangs into the flesh between Ranma's thumb and forefinger. Just barely managing to hold back his cry of pain, Ranma throws Ryoga facefirst into a convenient wall, whereupon the pig begins bouncing all over Akane's room in an effort to evade and attack Ranma. In the confusion, Ranma trips over one of Akane's barbells, carelessly left on the floor, and this coupled with a timely impact from Ryoga sends Ranma falling onto Akane's chest. This, naturally, jostles her awake and the two stare at each other in disbelief for several moments before Ranma thinks to begin stammering out an explanation. He is unsuccessful as, naturally, Akane is far too infuriated to listen, ignoring Ranma's cries of Ryoga's name to instead beat him repeatedly over the head and shoulders with a shinai before throwing him out through the window, declaring to herself after he has been left unconscious on the ground that he won't get away with this.

The next morning, to Ranma's dismay, the whole household reveals that they heard him in Akane's room. Nabiki is indifferent, other than a wish for Ranma to keep the noise down, while Kasumi is disapproving on the grounds that they are so young and Soun praises Ranma for his initiative, much to Ranma's chagrin.



When next Akane goes to school she takes "P-chan" with her, she shows him off at lunch to her friends, who are delighted with the cute, funny little pet Akane has found. Ranma, watching from a tree, is much less impressed. It is when Akane puts P-chan in an equipment shed and tells him to wait there while she goes to class that Ranma makes his move, coming after Ryoga with a kettle of hot water. The boy-turned-pig desperately flees from the enraged Saotome youth, his flight taking him straight into a girl's changing room. This proves only a shortlived shelter, as Ranma is quick to use his cursed form to warrant entry, but Ryoga does managed to slip away into the next door room -- a boy's changing room. Recalling the delighted reactions of all the teenage girls to his presence, he tries to cuddle up to a random boy, but finds this tactic fails; the boy disdainfully gives him over to Ranma without a second's hesitation.

On a sport's field, Ranma restores both of them to their true forms and angrily demands to know what the deal is with Ryoga, seeing as how he was the one who showed up yelling about this whole fight nonsense, and asks if maybe Ryoga likes being treated as a pet by Akane. Ryoga insists Ranma shut up and goes into a monologue about the suffering he has had to endure since being cursed, ending by dreamily declaring that Akane manages to love him despite his curse. Ranma angrily points out that Ryoga is imagining things, the unspoken implication being that all of Akane's affection is for P-chan, who she does not know is really Ryoga. Ryoga speculates that Ranma is actually jealous of the affection P-chan receives and is also in love with Akane, causing Ranma to uncertainly change the topic and get ready to fight.

He is disrupted when a bat comes flying through the air and hits him in the back of the skull with pinpoint accuracy, courtesy of Akane. Angrily asking what that was for, Akane scolds Ranma for picking on P-chan again, and while Ranma protests that there's no P-chan here, he is startled to look back and see an underground sprinkler has just turned on, reducing Ryoga to a pig without him having previously noticed. Once again, Ranma tries to explain that Akane's pet is more than he seems, and is once again ignored, prompting Ranma to exasperatedly declare the hopelessness of the situation and that he won't bother trying to explain any more.

By the time school is over, when Akane goes to retrieve P-chan from the shed again, she finds him missing and, upset, goes looking for him. As she searches through town, she is eventually joined by Ranma, who alternates between trying to persuade her to just go home without P-chan and reassuring her that he will be fine. As they pass by a wealthy mansion, Ranma having just managed to persuade her to go home, they stop at the sounds of commotion from inside and porcine squeals. Hurrying back to the gate, they see P-chan come racing out of the mansion, pursued by three butlers.

Somehow, Ryoga wandered away from the shed after Akane saved him at school and got lost in town. There, an elderly, wealthy, childless couple "adopted" him against his will and brought him back to the mansion with the intention of keeping him as their pet/child. Though Ryoga's curse was revealed when the nameless man took him into the bath, the couple quickly adjusted to the idea and offered to adopt Ryoga for real as their heir. Somehow, Ryoga escaped and turned back into a pig, just as Ranma and Akane were passing by.

The butlers ask Ryoga (or "Porkchop", as his would-be parents call him) to come back, but Akane angrily declares she's not going to let them have him. Ranma, impulsively acting to make Akane happy, leaps the gate and ruefully declares that he can't let them have the pig. The butlers promptly toss off their bowties and pull out sais, nunchakus and a bo before attacking Ranma, actually proving skilled enough to hit Ranma multiple times. Ranma manages to defeat them all, though he requires some last-minute assistance from Akane to deal with the bo-wielder: when he thrusts at Ranma with his quarterstaff, Ranma leaps up and clings to the gate with his hands, while Akane grabs the bo while the butler is staring at Ranma in surprise. This gives Ranma the opportunity to seize the last conscious butler around his neck by using only his legs, then flip him onto the ground in wrestling move. Ranma sincerely thanks Akane for her help, then gets offended when Akane nervously claims she only did it for P-chan's sake. The elderly couple have seen this happen, and sadly declare that they'll accept that "Porkchop" will have to leave and that they must find a new heir for the family. At this, Genma pops up in panda form and tries to attract their attention, but they walk right past him. Ranma, needless to say, is rather irritated at his father trying such a thing.

Late that night, Ranma sits on the roof and wonders why he would bother to save Ryoga like that, declaring it would have been better for everybody if he'd just let the rich couple keep him. Hot kettle in hand, he creeps back into Akane's room again... only to find her awake, waiting for him, and not impressed. She promptly beats him up and throws him back out the window again, much to Ranma's humiliation when the next morning sees it as the main topic of conversation at breakfast.

Trivia

 * The mini-storyline with the rich elderly couple is unique to this anime telling and was included to fill out the space left after telling the manga material.
 * When Ranma still believes Bess the dog is Ryoga's cursed form, s/he thinks to herself that she will keep Ryoga's secret, as it's the "warrior's code". This is the first and only mention of such a concept in the series, and Ranma quickly proves willing to try and tell Akane the truth when Ryoga reveals he is willing to use Akane's ignorance to his advantage.
 * It is in this episode that Akane gives Ryoga the alias "P-chan".
 * The mystery of P-chan remains unknown to Akane for the whole series.