Sneeze Me, Squeeze Me, Please Me! Shampoo's Recipe For Disaster

is the third episode of the third season, Hard Battle, and the 43rd episode overall.

Relation to the Previous Episode
None

Plot Summary
In the kitchen of the Cat Café, Shampoo watches over some pork and mushroom buns as they finish steaming, grinning with dark mischief to herself as the timer goes off. Cologne enters, noting with pleasure that they look quite tasty - Shampoo mischievously offers one to Cologne, who fiercely asks why she should be Shampoo's guinea pig and then turns Shampoo's offer on her. Shampoo won't touch them either - but when a deliveryman arrives with the fifty units of raw ramen noodles they were after, they both realise that here is someone they can test it out on. The man eats the steamed bun with a little confusion, but eagerly enough, whereupon Cologne claps her hands and tells him to sleep - and he promptly falls asleep. After waking him and then repeating this trick, Cologne muses that who would suspect a mere mushroom of being so powerful. Shampoo makes a show of holding up an intact specimen of her special ingredient and wondering what Cologne is talking about, which prompts Cologne to reprimand her to stop playing dumb; she knows perfectly well that this mushroom renders the eater extremely open to hypnotic suggestions for the few few minutes after consumption. Smirking to herself, Shampoo declares she knows just who she wants to use her new buns on.

At Furinkan High School, lunch has just started and Ranma is racing towards the don, or school store, to buy his meal. Passing by Hiroshi and Daisuke, they call out to Ranma that the don is already out of noodle bread, much to Ranma's disappointment as he screeches to a halt. To his surprise, Shampoo then shows up, asking if he is eaten yet; when he admits that he hasn't, she happily displays her handmade pork 'n' mushroom buns, much to the envying admiration of the other male students. She fiercely wards them off, declaring that only Ranma can have her cooking, whereupon Ranma politely tells her that he doesn't want them and will just buy a sandwich, to Shampoo's displeasure and the outrage of Daisuke, who promptly tries to get into Shampoo's good books by declaring that he will gladly eat them for her. At this, she snaps once again that they are only for Ranma, grabbing him by the wrist and dragging him away, even as the envious boys snap and snarl like animals behind them.

Akane makes her own way to the don, looking for Ranma. She confirms that she will be joining Yuka and Sayuri for a movie matinae after school, then resumes looking for Ranma; there's something she needs to tell him.

Ranma is currently seated under a tree, enjoying the last of the pork buns and tea that Shampoo brought him. He thanks Shampoo for them, noting that they were really good, then gets suspicious at Shampoo's reaction to the news he's eaten them all; at first, he thinks she's just going to make him pay for them, but finds she has something a lot worse in mind. With a snap of her fingers and a command of "still", she paralyzes him. Then, she tells him to "hold in your arms" and gets ready to snap her fingers again... right before a stray cat nearby sneezes.

Ranma's screams of fright alert Akane to his position and she comes to investigate.

Shampoo wonders in confusion just what's going on as a screaming Ranma alternatively tries to hug the cat and to shove it away, finally ending his compulsion and casting it aside. Grabbing Shampoo as he falls back in a near-faint, she snaps her fingers, but nothing happens. She then realises that the trigger sound is now a sneeze, and even as Shampoo wonders to herself how to make herself sneeze on purpose, Ranma shouts at her to tell him what she's done to him.

Akane has just gotten near Ranma and is trying to find where he is precisely when she hears Shampoo sneeze. She sees a pepper shaker roll near her foot, then looks in the direction it came from to see Ranma with his arms wrapped around a very happy Shampoo, demanding she get off. Seeing Akane is looking at him, Ranma desperately tries to explain that it's really not what it looks like and he can't control himself, but it doesn't work - especially because no sooner is he able to finally push Shampoo away then she sneezes and triggers another embrace. Akane cheerfully tells him that she just needed to tell him that she and he will need to look after the house tonight, as everyone will be gone, then turns to leave. Her icy departing words make it clear that she is livid - what she does to the soccer ball that promptly falls into her path makes it clearer still.

Later that evening, at the movies, Akane is still furious - making a public spectacle of herself by noisily wolfing down potato chips in the theatre, to the anger and disdain of the other customers and the embarrassment of her friends. The fact that the movie in question is of subject matter that strikes all too close to home, being a romance film, is really not inclined to make her any happier. On the way home, as Yuka and Sayuri talk about the romantic elements of the movie and how they enjoyed them, their mentioning of the romantic nature of an embrace causes Akane to recall how she saw Ranma hugging Shampoo and get even madder - so mad that she doesn't realise there's an open manhole in front of her until she falls down it. She is, understandably, more furious than ever when she rises from it.

Elsewhere in Nerima, Shampoo is still following Ranma, taunting him with the fact that, thanks to the spiked food he's eaten, she can make him hug her whenever she wants. His patience exhausted, Ranma tries to grab the pepper shaker from her, only to make her spill it. Worse, they are passing near a bus stop with a variety of passengers-to-be, and the pepper spills out over them. This causes a chain reaction of sneezing, which causes Ranma to glomp onto each sneezer in turn - naturally, they all gang up on him and beat him up for this, while Shampoo just stands back and watches.

By the time Akane gets home, Kasumi is just going out - but going so far in wet clothes and cold winds has given Akane a chill. Kasumi asks in concern if Akane is sure she'll be alright, but Akane insists she's fine and encourages Kasumi to go on with her usual plans. Locking the door, reassuring herself that Ranma has the key and will let himself in when he gets home, she sets about getting dried off and warmed down. After taking some cold medicine, she sits down to watch a music channel on TV, idly checking her temperature and noting that she's running a fever, even though her nose has cleared up. Eventually, she hears strange noises coming from the kitchen; knowing that Ranma has a key, she nervously grabs a baseball bat and stealthily heads there, ready to ambush whoever has snuck into her home.

She gets the fright of her life when, while going to the light switch, Ranma's hand brushes hers and beats her there. Indignantly, she demands to know what Ranma was thinking, then points out he could have just wrung the doorbell when he reminds her that the only key he has is for the back door. She begins to question him about what he and Shampoo were doing, then cuts herself off for the sake of peace, instead telling him how Kasumi left some pork cutlet out for his dinner. Ranma eagerly goes to get it and start eating, then notices the remnants of Akane's medicine. With increasing nervousness he questions her about her symptoms, but when she confirms that she has been sneezing, Ranma's understandable desire to avoid Akane's wrath by embracing her leads to him doing the stupidest of things: he leaps up onto the wall behind him, shouting in terror for her to go away. Unaware of Ranma's current implanted suggestion, Akane is, understandably, infuriated by this hysteria, and things get only worse when she does sneeze and Ranma promptly glomps onto her. She smacks him away with the bat and hits him with a frying pan and a rice steamer for added emphasis, demanding to know if he's gone crazy. Ranma desperately insists that he can explain, then indignantly asks what Akane means when she declares in irritation that he would grab just about any girl. When he declares that this whole mess is Shampoo's fault in response to her proclaiming he should ask Shampoo what she's talking about, Akane then angrily snaps at Ranma to not blame other people for his own problems.

She then sneezes again, causing Ranma to latch on and feebly protest that he can't let go when she icily warns him he has three seconds to release her. She shoves him away towards the refridgerator, where he ducks a thrown microwave and protests again that he can't help it. When Akane declares that she's not like Shampoo and won't just believe everything he says, he protests about her always believing the worst of him. Akane starts to go on another tirade, then goes silent and almost faints as her fever spikes, causing Ranma to jump forward to catch her, noting in concern that she really doesn't look so good. When her eyes snap open, he springs back in fear as she tiredly declares that she's going to bed.

Ranma, likewise, retreats to his room, but he can hear her coughing up a storm. He tries to argue with his conscience, declaring aloud that it's Akane's own fault for getting so worked up and that he didn't do nothing, but he can't beat it. He goes digging through his bag for some Chinese medicine (subs title "Man-kin-tan"), which he then delivers to Akane down in the living room, where she discovers she is really feeling sick. Fortunately for both of them, Ranma keeps his sarcasm about Akane meekly listening to him when he has a cure for her ailments in hand to himself. She thanks him, and then sneezes - again, Ranma hugs her, but this time in a much more romantic fashion, the two looking into each other's eyes, his hands on her shoulders...

And then Shampoo comes storming in through the door, whereupon they seperate in the blink of an eye. Akane upbraids Shampoo for just busting through the door, which Shampoo waves off before going to Ranma's side. She offers him more of her home cooking, shrimp shu-mai, but Ranma won't hear of it; he realises all too easily just what's in them. Not to be daunted, Shampoo uses pepper to trigger an embrace, though Ranma still won't open his mouth so she can feed him more hypnotic mushroom. Akane angrily steps up to the table, demanding they take such activities outside, then sneezes, though she shoves the glomp-inbound Ranma away and starts throwing various small items to hand at him calling him a lecher and a jerk. Ranma protests this, especially when one projectile narrowly misses his head and smashes the TV screen, but it is when Akane furiously grabs and uplifts the table, ready to swing it at Ranma, that he finally brings out the big guns: he yells at Akane that he can't help it and he doesn't want to hug her. Akane stops, her eyes growing wide and glassy with shock, and then she drops the table on him and runs off, sniffling. Shampoo watches Akane go with dismissive triumph, then resumes trying to feed Ranma her fresh dose of hypno-food.

In her room, head buried in her pillow, Akane listens as Ranma and Shampoo go racing around and around the house, trying to ignore them before she just can't bear it any more, pushing herself up fiercely from her bed and heading resolutely towards the door. Which is when Ranma and Shampoo come bursting through, flattening her with her own door. Ranma insists that Shampoo stop all this nonsense, a sentiment that Akane echoes, but Shampoo instead threatens to feed some of her shu-mai to Akane and then turn her against Ranma. Ranma promptly grabs Akane by the waist, kicks down her door and runs off, an angry Shampoo in hot pursuit. She follows him all the way up to the roof, gloating about cornering him, when Ranma decides to try a more pyschological gambit. Having dropped Akane, he walks toward Shampoo, puts his hands and declares he never realised before how cute she is. At this, she squeals in delight if this means that Ranma really does love her, happily embracing him and asking if this means that they can live happily ever after at last... which is when Ranma promptly grabs the shu-mai bucket and leaps out of her grip, mocking her that she's cute, but not that cute. Protesting that Ranma's gambit was unfair, Shampoo tries to grab the bucket back - and is promptly fed one of her own hypno-dishes, whereupon Ranma snaps his fingers and orders her to go home.

Once she is gone, Akane notes that Ranma really was telling the truth, at which Ranma furiously protests that of course he was, asking why she always has to be so stupid about this sort of thing. Akane gets mad herself, but is cut off when she, despite Ranma's pleas for her to hold it in, sneezes. But nothing happens. She timidly asks if Ranma isn't supposed to hug her, whereupon he realises that whatever Shampoo had done has now worn off. The two share a laugh on the roof and then head downstairs and inside to start patching up the damage that's been inflicted.

When they get home, Soun and Genma are happy to see Ranma and Akane are getting along and, especially, that Akane has gotten better thanks to Ranma's medicine. While they, Nabiki and Kasumi eagerly dig in to some food that Kasumi brought back, Ranma and Akane aren't so hungry, as it consists of several steamed buns and even more shu-mai.

Trivia

 * In this episode, Akane displays a lot more trust for Ranma than her counterpart does in the original manga version of this story. She has no visions of Ranma trying to rape her if he arrives while she is all alone, is less violent when he tries to hug her, does not try to attack him even after having heard Shampoo admit her food can allow her to control people's minds, and she does not stockpile weapons to protect herself against him even after his mental implant wears off.
 * In the manga, the mushrooms were delivered to the Cat Café as a result of a mix-up in an order Cologne placed to China. Here, they were deliberately ordered by Shampoo.
 * In the sub, the mushrooms are given the name "Kai-rin-shi".
 * This is the first time since Season 1 that Shampoo has broken through a door or wall.
 * When Akane is watching TV after getting home, the song playing is Little*Date, the Season 2 opening song.
 * Unlike in the manga, Shampoo does not smash through every building and fence in between the Tendo Dojo and the Cat Café after being commanded to leave.