Enter Happosai, the Lustful Lecher!

Enter Happosai, the Lustful Lecher! (究極のエロ妖怪八宝斉) is the 15th episode of Ranma ½ Nettohen.

Ranma had never wondered where Anything Goes Martial Arts came from before, but he soon wishes he had. Soun and Genma learned their style from an incredibly disreputable source, a grandmaster so evil that they sealed him away for ever. May heaven have mercy when he gets loose...

Relation to the Previous Episode
None

Plot Overview
A lightning storm brews somewhere in the mountains of Japan, as a voice over tells the people of Japan to sleep on, for tonight a great evil awakens. A bolt of lightning shatters a tree near the mountain's peak, sending it toppling down the side and causing it to roll right over a large boulder, enwrapped in a shimenawa, that is blocking a cave. Its passage naturally tears the shimenawa away, and moments later, the boulder splits in half and topples down the mountainside. A small, malevolently chuckling figure, eyes glowing bloody red, emerges from the cave.

At the Tendo Dojo, Genma and Soun are happily finishing cleaning the dojo, laughing with each other over their wish that they could straighten out their rebellious children so easily. Clasping hands, they swear that the dojo shall be their witness to their oath that everything they do, they do for Ranma & Akane's sake. They have barely finished this when they hear the sounds of breaking; looking inside the dojo reveals that the small shrine kept on a shelf within has fallen to the floor and broken. Soun nervously notes that this is an evil omen, which prompts Genma to laugh and jokingly suggest the rhyme "Altar goes smack, demon comes back". Soun looks puzzled, then smiles in realisation, declares Genma means the "sleeping demon" and shares a laugh with him - before suddenly getting in his face and fiercely telling him not to tempt fate. Genma weakly laughs that it was just a joke. Soun warns him not to tempt fate, to which Genma can only feebly ask what could happen. At dinner, though, Soun grows more uneasy when Kasumi drops his bowl and it shatters into pieces upon the table, which he notes is more bad luck. Genma scoffs at the idea "rice bowl goes crack, demon attacks", asking if Soun really believes those old wives' tales. However, even he starts to feel edgy when he takes a bite of pickle and his chopstick suddenly breaks.

The next day after school, Ranma and Akane talk about how weird their fathers were acting and wonder what was wrong, Akane noting that she doesn't think they even went to bad that night. A sudden shower springs up, and Akane races on ahead, even as Ranma turns into a girl and follows along after her, complaining about the unpredictable showers.

At a small restaurant, a tiny old man in a reddish-brown ninja outfit is finishing off wolfing down the latest of several dozen meals. Once he's eaten his fill, though, he races off too fast to be stopped, leaving behind nothing save a note to send the bill to the Tendo Dojo. Over the roofs he goes leaping, jumping down to the street in front of the Furinkan girls sports club, out for a jog. He races towards them and leaps forward with a cry of "Akane!"

Moments later, sneezing and wondering if somebody has been talking about her, Akane turns the corner to find the old man glomping various member of the team and refusing all efforts to make him let go. When he hears one of them call Akane by name, he cries her name as well and leaps at her, only to be blocked by her bookbag. The other girls ask if Akane knows him, to which she is uncertain; this prompts the stranger to remove his ninja hood/mask and act as though she should know him. When she doesn't, he gets upset, refusing her efforts to try and soothe him and then leaping at her with the demand she allow him to have a good cleaning cry in her bosom. Fortunately for Akane, Ranma comes out of nowhere at the last moment, disgustedly stomping the old man onto the street. When he recovers, he latches onto a horrified and disgusted Ranma, who promptly knees him off for fondling her breasts. He laughs this off as high spirits and notes that this proves she is Soun Tendo's daughter - when Akane asks how the old man knows her father, he bemusedly asks if that means she really is Akane. When she calls him on not actually knowing she was Akane before, he admits it and evidently feels no guilt about it, laughing it off.

The trio head to the Tendo Dojo, where Soun evidently recognizes the old man. While he greets him warmly enough, Soun promptly breaks into tears and hugs him tightly, expressing relief at his safety - and, to the great surprise of the girls, calling him "master". However, when he thinks the old man has let his guard down, Soun tries to punch him in the head - only for the little old man to catch his blow with one fingertip and then send him hurtling into the koi pond, laughing at this. Though Genma takes on a panda form and tries to pretend to be just an animal, the old man makes it clear he recognizes him. The timorous attitudes of the two men is greatly confusing to the teens.

Soon afterwards, as they offer the best sake in the house to the stranger, Soun explains that the old man, Happosai, was once their martial arts sensei. However, he was an extremely abusive one, who would force them to help him steal and peep on women and leave them behind to be the sacrifices if things went wrong, forcing them to make restitution for his crimes, such as washing dishes for three days and nights after he ate a meal and left without paying, or cleaning dress dummies for stolen lingerie. Finally, they stole several barrels of the finest sake and let him drain them dry; once he was snoring in a drunken stupor, they sealed him into one of the barrels, threw him into the cave from the episode's start with a lit bundle of dynamite, and then sealed it with the boulder. Happosai laughs that he had almost forgotten about that, causing the men to pale and call for more sake. He then taunts that it's their own fault for not finishing him off when they had the chance, which encourages them to attack him in desperation - he immediately defeats them, laughing when they weakly claim it was just a joke.

Once they've straightened up the mess, he tells them to relax, as he has not come for revenge. His reason, though, is no less comforting to them; he has decided he needs an heir, which means that one of them must become his student once more. Soun and Genma promptly grab as many of their belongings as they can carry and declare they're moving to China. Ranma, still in female form, mocks Genma for his cowardice - Genma promptly offers Ranma up as his own heir to become Happosai's true heir, even offering to sign over all parental rights. Happosai reprimands Genma for such a cruel claim, declaring a beautiful woman like Ranma would never survive the training - right before latching feverishly onto her breasts again. He lets go only when Genma douses Ranma in hot water, yelping in pain and then staring in disbelief as Genma explains that Ranma is really a healthy young man. Furious, Ranma grabs hold of Happosai's shirt, only to be sent flying into the wall with tremendous force with a mere poke of Happosai's pipe. Noting that if Ranma's a boy, he won't have to be gentle, Happosai declares he'll just have to do. For now.

The next morning, while brushing his teeth and ruminating about how he'd rather take up gardening or basket-weaving than become Happosai's heir, Ranma finds himself attacked by the old lecher, who drenches him in cold water and latches onto her butt. Soun and Genma sit on the veranda, idly talking gratefully of Ranma's "sacrifice" as Ranma first chases Happosai across the floor behind them, then male-Ranma comes tearing back trying to remove Happosai from his person. Genma notes that Ranma has really come through for him this time and suggests that he isn't such a bad father after all, right before Ranma, female once more, comes back and drenches him in cold water, sarcastically declaring that wild animals could have raised her better than Genma did.

At breakfast, Happosai complains about Ranma having returned to his male form. Indignant and irate, Ranma demands that Happosai tell them what he wants and then get lost - to his disgust, though, Happosai suddenly presents him with a bra, telling him it is a "reward", as his heir can't be seen running around in some "ratty old training bra". Ranma refuses outright, much to Happosai's dismay, even as Soun and Genma declare how lucky Ranma is that Happosai has taken a personal interest in him.

On the way to school, Akane dismisses Ranma's irritation with Happosai and proclaims him harmless. Sourly, Ranma notes that her attitude will quickly change once Happosai sees fit to start grabbing at her chest. Then they discover that even leaving the house isn't going to stop Happosai being a nuisance; he's following them, groping schoolgirls on their way to Furinkan and shouting for all the world to hear that Ranma forgot his bra. Ranma stews in fury, but before he can think of attacking the old man, Shampoo cycles up, happy to see Ranma... but she's not so happy when she realises that Happosai has latched onto her back from behind and is feeling her breasts as much as possible. She leaps off of her bike, angrily declares that only her fiance (implicitly, Ranma) has the right to touch her in such a manner, and springs up to deliver a powerful diving kick... only to be intercepted at the last moment by Cologne, who tells her to leave Happosai to her. This is not something that grieves Shampoo or Ranma, but to their amazement, during a mid-air pass, Happosai manages to slip a superbra onto Cologne while avoiding being hit himself. Taunting her for how it makes her look younger, he wanders off. Cologne warns Ranma not to underestimate Happosai, and then she and Shampoo leave - though the young Chinese girl takes the opportunity to give Ranma a quick hug before she goes.

Happosai promptly appears before Ranma, once more trying to persuade him to put the bra on - to Ranma's fury. This eventually causes Ranma to challenge Happosai to a fight; if Ranma wins, then Happosai will leave Ranma alone. However, Happosai declares that if he should win, then Ranma must give him a "fashion show" in the bra he bought. Ranma refuses to accept this, but Happosai simply bounds off, declaring they'll meet after school is out.

When the final bell of the day rings, Ranma is eager to meet with Happosai and sort him out, even as Akane tries to prick Ranma's confidence by pointing out that Happosai trained both their fathers and even Cologne was defeated by him. Ranma, however, remains convinced he can take the old freak. Their attention is caught by feminine squeals of outrage, and they look out the window to see Happosai running along the roof of a covered walkway with a massive cloth bundle on his back. Eagerly, Ranma leaps out of the window to confront him, only to have the bundle hurled at him and knock him to the ground. It falls apart on impact, covering Ranma, to his confusion, in women's gym shorts - moments before the girls they were stolen on descend on Ranma and thrash him brutally, blaming him as the thief.

Happosai, by this time, has retreated a safe distance - but like Cologne, he underestimate Ranma's skill at stealth and the first he knows of the furious Saotome's approach is when Ranma's boot connects with the back of his head. Furiously, Ranma demands Happosai take this fight seriously, but the ancient perverted midget simply evades Ranma's attempts to fight him and then runs off, making it clear he has no intention of fighting this duel until Ranma agrees to his terms. He loses Ranma when he runs by three Furinkan girls and flips their skirts, the girls promptly punching Ranma when he comes charging after him, but is then caught by Akane. When she demands to know what he's doing, Happosai starts crying and shouting that it's not his fault that Ranma won't be reasonable and just put the bra on - which is when Ranma promptly stomps him into the ground for shouting that for everyone to hear. Akane asks just what the big deal is with the terms, to which Ranma furiously declares that he's a guy. When Happosai suggests that Ranma is just too much of a coward to agree to his terms, Ranma finally and hesitantly agrees to them.

Circled by curious students, Ranma attacks Happosai. Happosai nimbly evads Ranma's attacks, uses the bra to blind Ranma and then sends Ranma skyward with a flick of his pipe, but Ranma turns this to his own advantage and descends upon Happosai in a devastating diving kick. Happosai escapes this by sinking into the earth and burrowing along, surfacing so that he has a good peek up a girl's skirt. Dusting himself off, he declares it's time he got serious, responding to Ranma's skepticism that a good fight needs some dramatic buildup. His claims are not false; he unleashes a powerful battle aura attack that paralyzes Ranma effortlessly. Only when Happosai makes the mistake of asking if Ranma wants the bra over or under her clothes does Ranma muster the determination, fury and hate to break the paralysis and launch a super-fast volley of strikes... but Happosai evades them all and then uses his pipe to send Ranma flying in a high arc to the back of the "arena". Ranma notes to himself in growing horror that even with his ultimate speed punching move he was unable to penetrate Happosai's defenses, hearing once again Cologne's warning to avoid getting into a fight with the old pervert. Happosai, meanwhile, is impressed that Ranma broke the paralysis, and muses that he may be worthy of fighting after all. Manifesting his aura again, he forms it into a serpentine shape that begins advancing on Ranma, tearing away the concrete over which it passes...

Only to vanish at the last instance, along with Happosai. Akane runs over to Ranma in concern, and after ascertaining he's alright, wonders where Happosai went, as he was so desperate to see Ranma in a bra. Ranma has evidently figured out what happened, as he is not surprised in the slightest when screams of outrage lead them to the female volleyball club's changing room; it was the sight of them jogging past that distracted Happosai, and as he unrepentently tells them, he promptly threw the challenge match to go and glomp onto them.

Quotes
To be added

Trivia

 * This episode introduces Happosai to the series.
 * A shimenawa is a rope onto which are attached multiple shide, zigzagging paper tassels, both of which are part of Shinto traditions. Shimenawa are often used as wards, to keep evil out - or in.
 * In the dub, Ranma suggests that Soun and Genma have been replaced by pods when she and Akane seem them cowering in fear of Happosai. This is a reference to Invasion of the Pod People.
 * The scene with Shampoo and Cologne is anime original, as is Happosai transforming his aura into a kind of serpentine projectile attack.
 * In the subbed version, when Ranma is paralyzed by Happosai's aura, Akane notes that he is like a toad before a snake. This is a reference to a Japanese belief in the snake, the toad and the slug forming a circle of power, in which the toad dominates the slug, the snake dominates the toad, and the slug dominates the snake. One of the most recent appearances of this in pop-culture are the Sanin of Naruto; Tsunade the Slug Sanin, Jiraya the Toad Sanin, and Orochimaru the Snake Sanin.