Ryoga's Miracle Cure! Hand Over That Soap

'Ryoga's Miracle Cure! Hand Over That Soap' (Ryōga no Taishitsu Kaizen Sekken!, 良牙の体質改善セッケン!) is the twenty first episode in the third season of Ranma ½, Hard Battle, and is the 61st episode overall.

Relation to the Previous Episode
None.

Ryoga's Wanderings
Standing on an outlook in Nerima, Ryoga dramatically notes that he has at last returned to the one place in the world where he knows somebody who loves him lives. Passionately, he asks why he can't admit his feelings to Akane, then freezes when he hears a female voice conversationally suggest he write a love letter in green ink. Though he retains his cool, he is relieved to see it's just a pair of schoolgirls talking to each other on that same subject and passing by.

While he at first scoffs at their assertation that a love letter in green ink is certain to make the recipient fall in love with you, he can't resist trying it out himself. Once he's procured some ink, he heads to a cafe and busily starts writing out his heartfelt confession. Everything is coming up roses... until he runs outside and right into a sudden shower.

Later On
That evening, Ranma and Genma Saotome are at a public baths; Genma finds this quite enjoyable, but Ranma can only sarcastically note that they came because Genma broke the bath at the Tendo Dojo. A sudden clamour draws their attention, and they see two little boys chasing a desperate P-chan, intent on catching him for themselves. Ranma flicks a bar of soap across the floor with his thumb, sending Ryoga flying into the bath beside him and catching the letter as it falls from Ryoga's mouth and drifts down towards the water.

He has little time to note that it's addressed to Akane Tendo before Ryoga erupts from the water and snatches it away, driving his elbow into Ranma's head for added measure. Ranma promptly kicks him in the face and starts reading the letter just to spite Ryoga for that, which causes a fight to break out.

On the women's side of the baths, Akane notes that the men's side is strangely noisy before she is distracted by the sight of a small pink and purple cat filling a bathpail with hot water at her side. Returning to her human form, Shampoo smugly declares that's the last time she'll be a cat, and then tells Akane that Ranma will belong to her starting today.

At Akane's confusion, Shampoo removes a bar of dark blue soap from a small container, explaining it's a magical soap that, once used, will stop her from changing into a cat when splashed. Intrigued, perhaps seeing the use that Ranma would have for such an item, Akane politely asks if she can take a look at it, to which Shampoo rudely snatches it away and declares that it's too priceless to let out of her hands.

And then her squeezing wet fingers sends it flying out of her hands and over the wall, where it trips up Ranma, currently mocking Ryoga. Ryoga grabs the soap bar and his letter both, and telling Ranma he deserved that, sets over to a tap to wash himself off with it. Shampoo declares that she can't afford to lose that soap, drenching herself in cold water and then leaping over the wall in pursuit. But seeing Ranma is there and naked save for a towel around his waist is too much temptation for her; she leaps affectionately onto his neck and shoulders, sending him running around in a screaming panic and provoking Ryoga into attacking the panicking Ranma after he accidentally slams Ryoga's face into the mirror. Genma watches the havoc with a smile, noting almost proudly and definately amused that is his son, then realises that Ryoga's letter has gotten away from him in the confusion and takes it himself.

After Leaving the Bathhouse
Later that night, after they have come home from the bathhouse, Genma gives it to Akane, telling her where he found it. As Akane wonders who it was from, Ranma rudely comes stalking into the room, grabs it and starts to read it, ignoring Akane's polite protest it's addressed to her, not him. Ryoga promptly appears and distracts Ranma by hitting him before he can read out more than "Dear Akane, I have always...", an action that has Ranma sarcastically ask what his problem is; is there something he doesn't want Ranma to hear in the letter?

Ryoga blushes when Akane asks if he's the person who sent her the letter, and defensively insists the letter's contents aren't Ranma's business, trying to grab it back, only to get tripped and sent flying towards the koi pond... whereupon Ranma executes a diving save, managing to catch Ryoga in the palm of his hand just above the water.

Ranma suggests Ryoga thank him, to which Ryoga exasperatedly asks why he should thank Ranma for embarrassing him half to death... which is when the boulder Ranma is lying on suddenly gives way, dumping them both into the pond with no hope of escape. Their strangely mutual dismay gives way to shocked confusion; while Ranma arises as the expected redheaded girl, Ryoga is still his original self.

Even as a disbelieving Ranma looks Ryoga up and down, Ryoga automatically punches her in the side of the head, knocking her back to the bottom of the pond in an effort to prove that this isn't some sort of dream. Barely registering that impact, Ryoga is half-convinced that this really is a dream, until Ranma surfaces and pounds him over the head with the boulder. Popping back up, coincidentally crushing Ranma under the same boulder, Ryoga realises that somehow he's been cured of his curse, weeping tears of joy and then looking gleefully at Ranma, desperately splashing him, and noting that this now makes them equals - no, if anything, it makes Ryoga superior! Confidence blooming in a way that rarely happens for him, he tells Akane to read the letter he wrote and understand his true feelings, then goes leaping away.

Behind him, he is unaware of Akane noting with some confusion that the ink's bled all over the page now, so she can't read it, Ranma screaming out furious questions of how Ryoga was cured, and Shampoo peering over the wall, noting angrily that Ryoga has taken and used her soap without her permission.

The Next Day
With a blush on his face and a bouquet in his arms, Ryoga daydreams to himself of finally asking Akane out, now that he no longer has to fear turning into a pig with cold water and is a whole man. Overwhelmed with delight, he goes on a rampage, shredding a wall and his bouquet with his overexcited flailings until he suddenly gets knocked down by an impact of water, courtesy of a bucket from Ranma.

Gleefully noting Ryoga really is cured, Ranma begs Ryoga to share the secret with him, trying to be friendly in order to encourage Ryoga. Ryoga is suspicious (and, if anything, creeped out by Ranma acting so nice), and won't be flattered, but finally tells Ranma that he has nothing to tell him -- meaning that he himself doesn't know how it happened. Ranma doesn't believe Ryoga and gets down on his hands and knees to ask to be told the secret... but, as Ryoga furiously points out, he rudely chose to do so atop Ryoga's head, and Ryoga promptly punches him away into the horizon.

Ryoga declares that he wants to see only one person; Akane, and dramatically calls out for her. Naturally, he leaps in shock when Akane comes up behind him. A little freaked out, she politely asks if Ryoga can tell her what was written on the illegible letter, to which Ryoga bashfully states he doesn't remember himself. Mentally chastising himself to be bolder, her tries to ask her out on a date... but just freaks out so badly he scares Akane before running off in embarrassed shame.

That evening, Shampoo tracks Ranma down and explains the true secret of Ryoga's apparent cure, revealing that she lost it at the public bathhouse the previous evening and Ryoga must have found it. Ranma protests when Shampoo, saying she'll do anything to get it back, pulls out an arrow and shortbow, but she casually reveals she doesn't intend to shoot Ryoga at all - she's going to deliver an arrowmail letter. Indeed, Ryoga is ecstatic to receive it, as he believes it to be from Akane, and inside discovers a ticket to "Healthy Leisure Land", a kind of park full of open air pools and baths. This can only mean that Akane is inviting him on a date, he proclaims with glee, before joyously screaming her name to the heavens above.

At the Leisure Park
Ryoga sets out immediately, not trusting his sense of direction, and manages to make it there by around noon the next day. Once there, he heads to the male baths, rereading the letter declaring she'll meet him here and noting that really isn't like Akane. Brushing it off as unimportant, he starts flicking through a dating guidebook he picked up, noting that the first and most important thing to set is mood. He notes that seems simple enough, whereupon a female leg suddenly springs out of the water in front him, flirtatiously flexing before its owner surfaces. Thanks to having wrapped up her distinctive hair, he doesn't recognize her as Shampoo, and she promptly introduces herself and the similarly disguised Ranma as the "Cupid Twins", bath attendents ready to take care of him.

Lulling Ryoga into a full sense of security, Ranma knocks him out cold, grabs the waterproof soap and takes off, betraying her ally and the soap's rightful owner in her desire to use it for herself. Shampoo promptly sends several bars of ordinary soap skidding across the floor, tripping Ranma up and sending the waterproof soap flying back into her hands, pointing out it belongs to her and playfully teasing Ranma to get it back.

As Ryoga regains consciousness, he hears and then sees the two girls chasing each other around the baths, Ranma protesting that if she uses the waterproof soap, she'll never have to be a girl again, before they end up falling into a cold water bath. As the waterproof soap goes sliding over to Ryoga, he manages to put together the pieces and taunts Ranma and Shampoo (the latter currently latched onto the former's head, the former running for her life in search of hot water) that he's never going to let go of this soap now, laughing maniacally.

In a nearby heated pool, Akane is about to partake with her two closest friends when Ranma and Shampoo come diving in. Immediately upon seeing them surface, Shampoo's arms wrapped around Ranma's neck, she sends a pail flying through the air to bounce off of Akane's head in anger. Ranma, startled, asks what she's doing here, to which Akane declares that's what she wants to know.

Back at the men's baths, Ryoga wonders where Akane is and plaintively hopes she hasn't called it off. While he's distracted, Ranma stuns him by dropping a stone cherub on his head and making off with the soap case in his bath pail, excitedly using it on himself... only to find Ryoga has outsmarted him. Well aware that Ranma and Shampoo now want the waterproof soap, he made a switch beforehand, and he taunts Ranma about this. When an arrow comes flying out of nowhere, Ryoga snatches it casually between index and middle fingers, then excitedly goes running off; the letter on it was from "Akane" telling him to meet at a new place. Shampoo emerges from hiding, and while Ranma isn't happy with her plan, she reluctantly agrees that Ryoga at least will be distracted by the idea of actually being on a real date with Akane, if not willing to trade the soap back to them afterwards.

Into the Haunted House
At the outdoor waterfalls area, Akane wonders in confusion who sent her this letter telling her to meet them there, when Ryoga walks up, stiltedly introduces himself, and then sheepishly thanks her for inviting him on a date. Startled, Akane looks the letter over again and then recognizes from the spelling that it can only be Shampoo's handiwork.

Before she can wonder too deeply about what she's planning now, though, a clockwork squid comes scurrying up the path towards them, leaping into the air and squirting ink in Ryoga's face. Reappearing in their Cupid Twins disguises, Ranma and Shampoo carry Ryoga to a nearby spring to wash his face off, stamping on his head and lunging for the waterproof soap when he reveals it. Thanks in part to Akane shouting out their identites, Ryoga recovers and shakes them off, but when he makes to confront them, Shampoo drags Akane in front of him, crouches behind her and asks if Ryoga wants a kiss.

Naturally, Ryoga is distracted and locks up, torn between his desire to get a kiss and his shyness. By the time Akane recovers from her own surprise at this turn of events and furiously kicks Shampoo away, Ranma has laid Ryoga out cold and is frantically searching for the waterproof soap. Akane roughly shoves her aside, chastises her, tearfully proclaims that this is worse than anything she ever expected of Ranma, and finally hits Ranma on the head with a mallet. Scornfully she declares that she'll take Ryoga on a date for real and drags him away.

When Ryoga comes to and finds himself at an on-site cafe with Akane, he timidly asks if they're really on a date and is ecstatic when she confirms this, asking her where she'd like him to take her. When she leaves the decision to him, he suggests a movie... but his deficient sense of direction leads them to Davy Jones' Haunted Locker, a nautical-themed kimodameshi (haunted house). Not detered, they head inside, even as the now-male Ranma and Shampoo spy on them. Ranma is annoyed at Akane heading into such a dark place, but Shampoo points out that they can use this to their advantage. Ranma pulls Akane through a revolving door used by the staff to explain the situation to her, while Shampoo sneaks up behind Ryoga and embraces him as a pretext to search him down for the waterproof soap.

Ryoga, naturally believing Shampoo to be Akane, grows excited at her "signals" and tries to passionately embrace her, ending the search as Shampoo quickly shoves a life-sized stuffed sunfish into his arms instead. Akane, meanwhile, is livid at Ranma's explanation for his actions, and the fact he seems confusedly clueless as to why she thinks his reasons and actions are a bad thing just makes it worse. She tears the revolving door from its hinges and crushes Ranma under it, snapping at him to leave them alone, before storming off, grabbing Ryoga and sunfish both and pulling them out into the daylight. Ranma irritably asks why Akane can't just leave Ryoga behind, while Shampoo notes darkly that they still haven't gotten the soap back.

Outside Again
Under some palm trees outside, Ryoga softly tells Akane that what she did in the cave (referring, though Akane doesn't know it, to the faux-embrace he received from Shampoo) meant a lot to him and gently tries to confess his feelings for her once again. Akane tries to explain what's been going on, but Ryoga waves off her words and gently but insistently picks her up off the ground and cradles her in his arms, much to her shock.

Racing up, Ranma is livid at the sight, with Shampoo's cheerful notes that they look like they've become a real couple not making him any happier. Scornfully, Ryoga makes a powerful kick, sending the waterproof soap slipping out of his pants leg and through the air to plunge straight down Ranma's throat. As he falls to his knees, choking, Ryoga declares it's a fair trade; the soap for Akane, laughing maniacally and ignoring Akane's feeble attempts to protest that things aren't the way they look. As he runs off, Shampoo tries to help Ranma dislodge the soap from inside his throat.

Leaping to the top of a kind of mountain built of giant logs, Ryoga tries to give Akane a bear hug, overjoyed that his pursuit seems to have paid off at last. Akane just manages to escape, watching as he slices the log he grabbed instead in half, weakly commenting to herself that he's a passionate guy as the danger she's in becomes apparent. Shouting how Akane can finally be his girlfriend, Ryoga pins her to the log behind her, slamming into it so hard that he snaps it and sends them both flipping through the air and plunging to the water far below. He is so caught up in his joy that he can only laugh even as Akane screams in terror.

Fortunately for Akane, Ranma comes leaping through, kicking Ryoga into the water and saving her. Foolishly, he taunts her by asking what kind of idiot could fall for someone like her, to which she justifiably knees him in the back of the head, squirming off his shoulders and demanding to know whose fault it is that Ryoga now seems to think he and she have some sort of future together.

Recovering, Ryoga punches Ranma skywards, then asks why Akane keeps running away; is he doing something wrong? Akane hesitates, then runs away, Ryoga following her in hot pursuit and destroying everything in her path. Through some mighty leaps, Akane manages to get away from him momentarily, whereupon Ranma comes bounding in and declares Ryoga's antics. Sarcastically furious, Akane points out that Ryoga's so "funny" he might end up crushing her to death, and Ranma's face grows clouded with thought.

Wandering up to a waterfall, Ryoga wonders to himself why Akane keeps running away from him, screams to the heavens to tell him why and angrily punches into the water, from which a female scream rings out. Looking up, he sees a female figure in Akane's clothes on the other side, having narrowly avoided his punch. "Akane" begs Ryoga to please be more gentle, as he's scaring her. Mentally thinking to himself that, no matter the love she showed P-chan, it was never enough, but finally he can embrace her as a man, he proceeds to do just that.

Elsewhere in the park, Akane's friends find her dressed in Ranma's clothes and ask what the deal is. She tells them to not ask.

Back with Ryoga, Ranma, dressed in Akane's clothes, has discovered how real Akane's fears of being crushed to death were; Ryoga may have taken her up gently enough, but now he's squeezing so hard that her ribs are audibly cracking and the waterproof soap she swallowed earlier is now shot straight up like a canon. Ryoga hears her gurgles and loosens up in concern, freezing in shock when he sees he's been hugging Ranma, who feebly jokes by asking if it was good for him too.

The waterproof soap falls back down and lands on Ranma's head, whereupon she plucks it up happily and runs off, screeching to a halt as Ryoga snaps back to his senses, cracks his fingers and starts charging him with a scream that he is a dead man... only to suddenly develop a heavy coating of froth and shrink out of his clothes, a startled P-chan crawling from the suds. It turns out a coating of waterproof soap only lasts so long before its waterproofing wears off.

Ranma takes "P-chan" and the soap back to Akane and Shampoo, not telling them where Ryoga has vanished, but giving the waterproof soap to Shampoo and telling her what she's learned. While Shampoo mutters darkly to herself about Jusenkyo Products ripping her off, Akane notes that after seeing Ryoga expressing his feelings like that, she feels sorry for whoever he ends up taking for a girlfriend -- she'd have to be much stronger than Akane to survive. Even as Ranma taunts Akane that it was a good thing she sacrificed herself for her, Ryoga nervously beads up with sweat, starts weeping and presses himself more firmly against her breasts to try and escape the disappointment and heartbreak.

Trivia

 * In the dub, Ryoga proclaims his apparently being cured of his curse makes him finally equal to Ranma, and then corrects himself and declares he is even more equal than Ranma. This is a reference to the famous Communisim satire "Animal Farm", where the final, most chilling rewrite by the malevolent pigs of the original rules the animals made to free themselves from tyranny is "All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others".
 * In the subs, Ranma specifies that Genma broke the tub because he got drunk and fell into it.
 * In the sub, Ranma gloats over stealing the waterproof soap and Shampoo chastises him for betraying her. In the dub, Ranma and Shampoo instead make the "see you later, alligator, not for a while, crocodile" rhyme.
 * This is the first episode in which Akane has ever been seen using a hammer.
 * After the events of this episode, given that Akane has seen how frighteningly powerful Ryoga can get when overenthused, it's possible that her subsequent "unawareness" of Ryoga's romantic feelings for her is deliberately feigned ignorance; she doesn't want to give him the impression she may feel that way for him again if it means another rampage like the one she barely escaped from here.