Assault on the Girls' Locker Room

Assault on the Girls' Locker Room (女子更衣室を襲え?) is the 16th episode of Ranma ½ Nettohen.

In his travels, Ryoga comes across something amazing; a map, promising to lead the bearer to a Nanniichuan spring right in his home country of Japan! ...Now, if Ryoga could actually hope to follow the map on his own... Driven by desperation (and a little chance), he teams up with Ranma to follow the map and find their respective cures.

Relation to the Previous Episode
None. This marks the beginning of the three-episode Japanese Nanniichuan arc.

Plot Overview
Oblivious to the way that people are stopping to watch, Ryoga practices giving a dramatic speech to Akane, using a small statuette of a frog in a dress as Akane's stand in, declaring he needs to go on a trip, he will be whole man when he returns, and then trying to ask her if she would go on a date with him when he returns. His shyness means he trails off, then rears up and starts loudly lambasting himself that she would never go out with him like that. Any further thought is cut off when Happosai comes bounding through, knocking Ryoga to the ground by using his head as a stepping stone. Ryoga doesn't have the time to get back to his feet before the Furinkan girls the old pervert was running from come stampeding through and end up stepping all over him. Unaware that she's standing on Ryoga's back, Akane begins making a plan to prevent Happosai from robbing them again, though she gets cut off when she realises she's standing on Ryoga.

The two walk vaguely in the direction of the Tendo Dojo, with Ryoga telling her about how he has to leave on a training trip straight away. She playfully asks if Ryoga wants to speak to Ranma before leaving, with Ryoga declaring it's not exactly high on his list. Desperately, he tries to ask Akane if she would be willing to go on a date with him at some point, but can't bring himself to say it, instead trying to save face by giving her some soba as a gift. She accepts it happily and the two part easily enough...

And Ryoga starts beating down a wall in frustration at being such an idiot once Akane isn't present. He stops when he hears Akane's voice calling flirtatiously from behind him, offering to kiss him as a thank you for the present. Blushing madly, he weakly suggests that they don't rush things, but is quite eager to do so when she continues the flirty talk. Needless to say, he attacks in outrage when he discovers it was Ranma, in female form, imitating Akane's voice to mess with him as a joke.

The fight goes on until that evening and ends with the two walking away together, the battered Ranma scorning Ryoga for his "overreaction", while Ryoga declares Ranma is just a pervert. Ranma promptly jumps on his head and tells him not to take his attitude out on her, adding his P-chan "nickname" for extra bile, and is then slammed into the ground by Ryoga's fist as he declares that Ranma soon won't be able to kick P-chan around anymore. He makes the mistake of holding aloft a small, folded piece of paper, which Ranma promptly snatches from his hand in one swift leap, noting that it looks like another of Ryoga's dumb maps. Ryoga frantically tries to snatch it from Ranma, but when this causes her to let it go and it looks like it's going to fall into the nearby canal, he reveals it's a map to the Japanese Nanniichuan while leaping for it, missing and taking a plunge into the water even as Ranma retrieves the map.

Taking Ryoga with her, she returns to the Tendo Dojo and the two take a hot batch together; male and human once more, Ryoga explains that the story is, during the age of the samurai, there was a village that was plagued by many mischievous foxes, until the day a distinguished priest came from China. In an effort to help, he conjured forth a spring with a blow of his staff and led all of the foxes into it, transforming them into young men. However, as the foxes retained their former natures, this meant the village was just worse off than before. Upon seeing how convinced that Ryoga is this is the real deal, Ranma convinces Ryoga to stay the night, pointing out it's already pitch black outside and Ryoga can get a fresh start in the morning.

Naturally, when Ryoga sets out, Ranma tags along behind, much to Ryoga's dislike. He demands Ranma leave, responding that he has the map when Ranma points out Ryoga can't find the spring without his help. Consulting said map reveals that they need to head east from where they are; despite the fact the sun is clearly rising to the right, Ryoga starts heading left. Ranma disdainfully whacks Ryoga to stun him for a moment, takes the map and starts heading in the correct direction, noting that Ryoga will take the wrong direction every time he's given a choice. Ryoga protests and demands the map back, but evidently can't argue with Ranma's insulting claim that it's like giving a pig a pearl necklace, as he is content to broodingly allow Ranma to lead them.

At Furinkan High, it is getting time for physical education, which means the girls are worried Happosai will come to rob them again. Akane confidently assures them that she has a plan in mind to stop the old pervert. Said pervert, meanwhile, is back at the Tendo dojo, ironing all of the panties he's already stolen.

Eventually, they end up before a stone fox; Ryoga questions if Ranma is reading the map right, asking if this isn;t the back of Furinkan High School. Ranma asserts that they are where they need to be; they just need to go 100 paces in the direction this stone fox is pointing. Ryoga promptly whallops Ranma over the head with it from behind, gloating that he doesn't need Ranma any more, and races off, counting the steps as he goes and smashing through any trees in his way. To his irritation, Ranma promptly regains consciousness and catches up, but after a few running blows, they forget their animosity to instead focus on the promise of being all man once again. Realising it is under the building ahead, they leap forwards... and trigger a trip-rope, springing a multiphase trap. From within the building emerges Akane and many other girls, anticipating that their trap has been sprung by Happosai, and who declare that they will not give up their guard when it appears the pervert has escaped. Ranma and Ryoga realise that this is the female locker room for all of Furinkan. Ryoga is unnerved, but Ranma just sees this as a challenge; he will have his manhood back again, come hell or high water!

Back at the Tendo dojo, Happosai is so engrossed with watching a women's aerobics show that he's forgotten all about his morning raids, and in fact dismisses the idea when Soun brings it up - at least until after the show is over.

Ranma swiftly changes into his female form and adorns himself in a Furinkan girl's sports uniform, prompting Ryoga to stammer in disbelief if she is really planning to go into the girl's locker room and look for the spring. Ranma's nonchalant "duh" answer outrages Ryoga, who points out Akane may be half-naked in there and so he won't allow her to enter... too late he realises that Ranma is in one of her ruthless moods, as she beats him unconscious and heads for the locker room, trying to slip in through the front door... but, for some reason, there is a kettle of hot water over the door into the changing room where Akane is undressing, causing Ranma to revert to his male form in the girl's uniform. Though he hastily slams the door shut again, the presence of other girls in the hall forces him to run for what little is left of his dignity.

Screaming fury, Ranma rants about how this sort of thing is always happening to him, even as Ryoga mocks him for trying such a perverse gambit in the first place. Indignantly, Ranma splashes him with cold water and declares it's time to move on to plan B; tossing "P-chan" through the window and having him grab some underwear, leading the girls on a chase while Ranma tries to find the spring and get the water to cure them both. Ryoga shakes his head in refusal, but Ranma won't hear it, sliding the window open and tossing P-chan in like a grenade. Though Ryoga immediately puts his vision downwards to avoid seeing any of the semi-naked girls and passing out from arousal, the instant Akane becomes aware that "P-chan" is there, she scoops him to her breasts, which causes Ryoga to spout blood from his nostrils and faint.

Ranma, blind with fury, promptly storms into the room, ignoring the startled, squealing girls around him and brutally slaps Ryoga awake... only to realise too late what he's just done as Akane savagely beats him up for barging into the girl's locker room. He and Ryoga escape, the latter resuming his human form and sticking some tissue up each nostril to counteract the bleeding. He dreamily murmurs that it's not so bad to be a pig after all even as Ranma screams at him about what is more important; today and Akane, or the future and the spring? Ryoga's response, a dreamy "today and Akane", just makes Ranma all the more furious, but when he hears Akane has slipped out of the locker room and is coming after him with the intention of beating him up even further, he shouts at Ryoga to run for it and clears out.

When she finds Ryoga, Akane comments curiously that she thought Ryoga had already left, then ignores his nervous laughter and asks if he's seen Ranma, noting in disgust that the pervert just tried to sneak into the girl's locker room while wearing girl's clothing. Ryoga thinks to himself that, spring or no spring, Ranma's gone too far, as Akane shouldn't have to suffer because Ranma is insecure about his manhood. To Akane's startlement and confusion, Ryoga passionately declares that, while he may have his reasons, Ranma's gone too far and begs her to allow him to be her bodyguard.

Ranma, however, is still undaunted, sneaking onto the roof and then peering in through the window. Seeing the room empty, he sneaks in, only to trigger a trap that buries him in underwear, much to his confusion. Ryoga stamps him into the ground from behind, gloats that he's caught him redhanded, then loudly shouts how Ranma should be ashamed of himself for going after panties. Furious, Ranma attacks Ryoga, demanding to know if he has forgotten about the spring and calling him a traitor, while Ryoga fights right back, declaring Akane to be more important and deriding Ranma as a pervert.

The fight is interrupted when Happosai appears from nowhere, having finally finished his show, and knocks Ryoga out with one pressure point strike to the back of the neck. Telling Ranma to watch the door, he starts gathering up the underwear, even as Ranma tries to comprehend what just happened - but that is when Akane appears and reveals the girls were hiding in the lockers, surrounding the two and getting ready to attack. Ranma tries to explain that, contrary to what Akane thinks, he's neither here for the underwear nor teaming up with Happosai - the old pervert, however, warns Ranma that they aren't going to listen and never will, instead twirling his pipe in a special attack that creates a powerful flurry of gusting winds, flapping skirts and whirling panties, encouraging Ranma to join him in running for it. Ranma hesitates for a moment, then admits they aren't going to believe him, and follows.

Situated in a tree high above, they watch as Akane gets all of the girls into fighting sports clubs such as naginata and fencing, complete with weapons, and gives a rallying speech that

Ranma refuses to be daunted by this, vowing he will get into the locker no matter what it takes. Tears of joy in his eyes, Happosai declares how proud he is to learn that Ranma shares his tastes - Ranma promptly pops him on the head and angrily declares he's just doing this for the spring. Gathering up a big basket of assorted creepy crawlies - snakes, frogs, spiders, bugs, mice, lizards, etc - and dressing up Happosai in a frog suit, Ranma declares that sometimes you have to fight fire with fire and proceeds to throw a cloud of creepy crawlers over the girls. Despite their fierce determination to punish the perverts, the girls break into terrified confusion under the deluge. Akane tries to rally them, and attacks Ranma in a fury when she sees he has slipped into his female form and a female gym outfit and is spreading panic both verbally and by throwing out more creepy crawlers, exhorting him to fight fair... however, he effortlessly dodges her and then distracts her by throwing Happosai at her. In the seconds it takes her to prise him loose and punch him skywards, her makeshift "army" has fallen apart and Ranma is gone. Realising where he must have gone, she heads back inside.

In the locker room, Ranma, having put on the disguise of a Furinkan girl's uniform, large glasses and a yellow ribbon on her pigtail, makes the mistake of forgetting that Ryoga has likely been left on guard duty; when he hears the door opening, he throws a stool at Ranma, catching her in the shoulder and knocking her to the floor. While Ranma is mentally berating herself for her mistake, Ryoga is fooled by her disguise, much to Ranma's amused pleasure. Glomping onto him, she starts flirting with him in order to make him distracted; as she prepares to deliver the same pressure point attack that Happosai used, though, Akane storms in with a kettle of hot water, drenching them both. Fortunately for Ranma, Ryoga is so busy trying to convince Akane that he wasn't "cheating on her" that Ranma is able to shuck off his girl's uniform and knock him out cold. He then rounds on Akane, angrily demanding to know why she has to keep interfering.

To his disbelief and confusion, she says in a soft voice that she underestimated just how badly he wanted that underwear, and proceeds to hand it to him. Declaring that she always knew his body was sick, but now his mind is sick too, she then states she just wants him to know she doesn't regret the time they spent together and starts running away with tears in her eyes. Furiously, Ranma tosses the panties and bras aside with a roar of "enough", snapping that he was just after the dumb Nanniichuan and demanding to know just what sort of sicko Akane thinks he is. When she repeats "Nanniichuan" in a dumbfounded voice, Ranma mockingly repeats that it's like the one in China, but it's right here in Japan. Hopefully asking if Ranma's telling the truth, Akane then happily states that Ranma's not a pervert... he's just a liar, right before punching him across the room while demanding to know how dumb he thinks she is.

As he goes flying, though, Ryoga intercepts him with his fist to Ranma's face. Mockingly he compliments Ranma on his little act before, then makes a melodramatic speech about how his heart has been broken by the way Ranma pretended to be a girl with glasses, the first person to say she loved Ryoga, which has the other girls cooing over him and Ranma's initial guilt giving way to disdain. Furiously, Ryoga demands to know how Ranma could do something like that to him - the nonchalant reply of "for the spring" causes the outraged eternally lost boy to attack Ranma. In a frustrated fury of his own, Ranma fights back, pointing out that he didn't even know there was such a place as the Japanese Nanniichuan until Ryoga showed up with the map.

Akane, at this, wonders aloud why Ryoga would have such a map - while Ryoga immediately panics that she has figured out his secrets, she then reveals she's come to the conclusion that Ryoga was looking for it for Ranma's sake. It's hard to say what stuns him more; this declaration, or her excited claim that she could kiss Ryoga for such a noble gesture. Ranma playfully mocks Ryoga by patting him on the shoulder and noting that it's lucky for him that Akane is dumb as a brick, which starts another round of fighting. This time, it ends with Ryoga throwing a Bakusai Tenketsu, which Ranma redirects to devastate the floor. Hearing the rumbling of water from beneath, Ranma wonders if maybe he's finally found it, crying out in joy as a torrent of water suddenly erupts from beneath, carrying them both through the roof and away.

Akane watches the water fountaining and wonders if maybe Ranma was actually telling the truth after all, only for a groundskeeper to show up and ask who broke the water main, which dashes her belief.

Perched in a tree again, eye twitching with fury, Ranma demands to know if Ryoga's map was really supposed to be a map to the Japanese Nanniichuan. When the boy-turned-pig nods, the boy-turned-girl grabs him by the neck and starts shaking him furiously, screaming questions about what's going on and why she hasn't turned into a guy again. Her rant only stops when a large blue urn covered in intricate markings is sent flying out of the geyser and lands on her head. Rolling it off into her hand, she notes its strange appearance and wonders why it would have been buried under the girl's locker room, excitedly suggesting that maybe this holds the key to the real Japanese Nanniichuan.

Quotes
To be added

Trivia

 * In the manga, this was a short filler story and ended with the breaking of the water main. The addition of the blue urn and the its subsequent stretching into a search for three urns to summon the Japanese Nanniichuan is unique to the anime.
 * According to the subtitles, the soba noodles Ryoga offers to Akane come from Izumo.
 * Precisely why a kettle of hot water has been suspended above the front door is never explained. Perhaps it is another anti-Happosai boobytrap?
 * The subs deem Happosai's special technique to be the "Locker Room Hurricane", while the dub calls it the "Silky Storm".
 * Happosai may have created his Silky Storm technique due to his exposure to the Hiryū Shōten Ha in his youth.
 * According to this episode, and its original manga version, Akane thinks of Ranma as being physically "sick and twisted" because of his genderbending Jusenkyo curse. Particularly in Japan, this is a very nasty insult.