The Abduction of P-Chan

The Abduction of P-chan (さらわれたPちゃん!) is the seventh episode of Ranma ½ Nettohen.

Sparks fly at the local ice skating rink as Akane's beloved pet pig is kidnapped by a kawaiiko kleptomaniac.

Relation to the Previous Episode
This episode is set very soon after A Tear in a Girl-Delinquent's Eye? The End of the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge! and begins the three-part Golden Pair story arc.

Losing P-chan
One pleasant afternoon, Akane is ice skating at the Municipal Sports Center. Being called out by her friends, she skates over and joins them in some pleasant conversation and sweets. They bring up the topic of Akane joining the skate club, but Akane is distracted as she realizes she has left P-chan out in the rink on his own.

Indeed, at that very moment, the boy-turned-pig is approached by a strange female skater, who looks at him lovingly and tells him to come with her, calling him "Charlotte". P-chan tries to escape, but the stranger catches him and then knocks him out cold with a little, bow-wrapped wooden hammer with the kanji for "Marianne" burned into it. Triumphantly cradling him in her arms, she skates off, even as the unhappy Akane skates onto the scene, calling for her pet.

In a nearby ramen shop, Ranma is also having a bad day; Hiroshi and Daisuke have at last cornered him about the mysterious "female Ranma" who took on Kodachi Kuno in Akane's place and are harrassing him to set them up on a date with her, being convinced that she is at least known to Ranma, if not his actual sister. Ranma, obviously, is having nothing of it and tries to walk away, only for the angry boys to demand he say, reproaching him that he already "has" Akane as his fiancee and asking what he needs two girls for. Annoyed and flustered, Ranma snaps back at them, barking out his customary accusation of Akane being "uncute" just seconds before she bursts in through the door. This makes him leap in shock and physically position himself to defend against a blow, asking what Akane wants and if she's going to hit him. Akane simply looks up at him, tears welling in her eyes, and Ranma clumsily tries to apologize, pointing out that he is always calling her uncute and going on to mumble that just because he says it, doesn't mean it's true, trailing off midway through the sentence as he registers that Akane is upset about P-chan being missing, not because she heard him calling her uncute.

Ranma isn't particularly happy to hear that was why she put him on the spot, nor is he too impressed to hear Akane, Yuka and Makoto explain that a mysterious person kidnapped P-chan. As the girls move deeper into the shop, the very stranger responsible enters. Ranma asks Akane what the "kidnapped pig" looked like, and then points her to the stranger. Akane immediately approaches her, but she backs off, asking who Akane is and insisting in the third person that P-chan is really "Azusa's little Charlotte", despite P-chan's frantic squirms to get back to Akane. The two girls argue over who really owns the pig, when a handsome stranger suddenly appears and plucks it from Azusa's grasp. Asking if it really is Akane's, he then hands P-chan over to her and walks over to take a seat, the sulking Azusa pulling her tongue at Akane. As Azusa begins beating him on the head, which he ignores, and repeatedly chanting "Charlotte", the stranger explains that Azusa has this strange fascination with taking anything she considers cute, keeping it for herself, and giving it a silly name.

Annoyed that her tantrum gets nothing but a scolding from the stranger even after she graduates to smacking him in the head with a chair, Azusa angrily challenges Akane for ownership of P-chan. When Akane asks if she's seriously asking for a fight, Azusa hastily proclaims she's talking about figure skating, but Akane is quick to accept... even after Yuka and Makoto recognize the pair of strangers as the legendary "Golden Pair" from Kolhotz High, masters of Martial Arts Figure Skating with an unbroken winning streak of 950 consecutive victories, she refuses to back down. As Akane and Azusa take turns in "consoling" P-chan, Ranma thinks to himself that he'd like to see them both lose. While he's doing that, though, Mikado Sanzenin approaches Akane and gently takes hold of her face, declaring he must apologize for this whole mess and bending down in preparation to kiss her...

...Which is when Ranma strikes, flicking a slize of spiral fishcake from his ramen to land on Mikado's face. Irritatedly picking it off of his face, Mikado approaches Ranma, compliments him on his refreshing way to issue a challenge, and declares that it will take place in one week at the Kolhotz High skating rink. Ranma simply stands up and walks out, telling Mikado to have it his way, with Akane and their respective flunkies trailing out behind him. It's a fairly dramatic scene... until Azusa spoils it by throwing another head-smacking tantrum to claim the fishcake Mikado had thrown at him, which prompts Mikado to complain about how Azusa just ruined the effect.

On the way home, Ranma insists that he picked a fight with Mikado because he dislikes such "suave" types, though this statement is quickly proved to be a lie when Akane's nonchalant dismissal makes him angrily leap down from the fence and point out that he just stuck his neck out for her. He trails off in mid-sentence and stares at her, to her confusion, before asking if she actually wanted Mikado to kiss her, Akane dismissing it and walking off, declaring back over her shoulder that she would have nailed him if Ranma hadn't intervened when he did.

Akane's Partner
That night after dinner, while eating dessert, Akane and Ranma explain about the challenge, with Nabiki incredulously commenting that she thought figure skaters needed to at least like each other in order to work together. While Kasumi gently insists that Akane and Ranma like each other just fine, Ranma flatly tells Akane he doesn't really care if he wins or loses this match, as he doesn't care at all about P-chan. Akane just sniffs disdainfully and leaves it at that, which is when Ryoga suddenly pops onto the scene and begs Akane to allow him to be her partner in the match instead. Ranma is unable to resist asking how "Charlotte" knows about the match, which earns him a bop on the head and starts an argument about who will be Akane's partner. This leads to them challenging each other to a skateoff, both boys bragging about their skill.

They're still gloating when they reach the ice rink the next day... and promptly reveal they were lying through their teeth when the instant they step onto the ice with both hands, they slip and fall backwards to bang their heads on the wooden floor, much to Akane's disdain.

After several disasterous moments, both Ranma and Ryoga are lying on the rink's surface. As a little boy skates past easily and mockingly asks if Ranma wants him to teach him, Ranma frustratedly unlaces his skates and runs off, purposefully stepping on Ryoga in the process, and ignoring Akane's calls to come back. In the men's toilets, Ranma fills a bucket with cold water and drenches himself, declaring it's far too embarrassing to be seen trying to learn to skate in his male form, with even little kids mocking his skill. Ryoga choses this moment to come in and mock Ranma for refusing to try and learn in male form because of his ego, only for Ranma to splash him with cold water as well and go out to join Akane.

On bent knees and being held by the hand, Ranma allows Akane to gently lead her around the rink, exhorting her to stand up. When Akane asks why Ranma is insisting on doing this as a girl, Ranma declares that she looked too stupid as a boy, with Akane flatly pointing out that Ranma still looks stupid. When Genma, in panda form, goes skating past and leading an entourage of small children, Akane's patience begins to grow thin and she irritably asks Ranma to stand up, asking if she's a boy or a girl. Ranma tremulously responds that she's a girl right now. Akane is annoyed, but finds a different source for her anger when Azusa skates up behind her and deliberately bumps into her, knocking her down and sending Ranma rocketing backwards across the rink, squarely into Mikado's arms.

A Kiss in the Rink
Ranma is not impressed at her "rescuer", who quickly begins trying to flirt with her, but is interrupted by a flying punch from Azusa. Firmly she tells her partner to do her girl-chasing later, as it's time to practice the Assault of 100 Foes. Skating over to Akane, Mikado places Ranma at her side and then skates back to Azusa as one hundred burly, fully-outfitted ice hockey players skate onto the rink and surround the Golden Pair. In a stunning display, the two swiftly annihilate their opponents, defeating all one hundred sparring partners in 9 seconds flat.

Hearing that this is "Martial Arts Skating", Ranma excitedly declares that she can do anything if it's got martial arts in it, and happily insists to Akane that they're sure to win. Akane skeptically points out that Ranma needs to learn to stand up, first. A commotion from the other end of the rink draws both parties' attention and they turn to see P-chan scrambling frantically across the rink. Akane immediately abandons Ranma and goes skating to her pet, Azusa following and neatly plucking the boy-turned-pig from the air as he leaps for Akane's arms. Akane promptly snatches him back, but not before Azusa places a locked collar on him. Akane angrily declares that she and Ranma will win the match, the only way she can get the key to take it off of P-chan, a declaration rather spoiled by Ranma's frantic cries for help as she teeters back and forth, unable to keep her balance.

Ranma is not happy when her distress is answered by Mikado skating by and picking her up, coincidentally holding Ranma in such a way that she can't really try to fight back. Ranma demands Mikado let her go, but the lustful teen ignores and, feigning charm, kisses Ranma in mid-threat, much to the shock of Akane and P-chan and to Ranma's absolute horror. When Mikado lets her go, Ranma bursts into tears and runs off to the nearest male public baths, bawling. Mikado makes a poetic comment about Ranma's being "moved" by his kiss, while Akane sarcastically thinks to herself that Mikado would probably be crying as well if he knew he'd kissed a man.

Frantically ripping off her clothing, Ranma runs heedlessly into the baths, still crying and furiously snarling to herself about how Mikado could dare to do such a thing, particularly when Akane was watching. Surfacing in grim fury, the now-male Ranma declares Mikado is going to pay. Dressed once more, he storms out into the rink and demands that Mikado face him here and now, punching the solid ice in emphasis and causing a deep fissure to go snaking along from where he stands to just under Mikado. Confused, Mikado nevertheless accepts Ranma's challenge, as he cannot allow Ranma to go unpunished for damaging the rink.

Azusa, meanwhile, is not taking part, as she is on the side of the rink bugging Genma, now in his human form, for one of his rice cakes, which she calls "Josephine". When whacking him on the head because she can't get it from his grasp fails to make him stop eating it, she screams in horror when he finishes eating it and begins beating him up with a chair.

Quotes
To be added

Trivia

 * This episode and its two follow-ups are chronologically supposed to take place after the Kodachi's Introduction/Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics arc, which begins in Ranma Meets Love Head-On! Enter the Delinquent Juvenile Gymnast!, and before the Shampoo's introduction arc, which begins in Enter Shampoo, the Gung-Ho Girl! I Put My Life in Your Hands. However, due to a combination of low ratings and several kidnappings occurring at the time, this episode was pushed back and was not aired until the series resumed as "Ranma ½ Nettōhen".
 * The error in chronology was retained in the original DVD release of the series, but was corrected with the Blu-ray release.
 * After Ranma turns into a girl for skating lessons, and likewise gets Ryoga out of the way by turning him into P-can, one of the two boys who start trying to trigger a transformation themselves is |Ataru Moroboshi.